ChuckDoherty.com

Now that everyone on Earth has heard how those evil terrorists can easily sneak deadly explosives onto a flight in tiny containers of liquid, it is interesting to learn just how (un)feasable such a plan is in real life. 

This is the instruction sheet from an LED nightlight my friend Tom gave me recently.  Another fine product of the Frank Tang Best-Good Electric Company. No die!

 

Very much more like this: http://www.engrish.com/

Last night I drove up to Worcester, Mass (the birthplace of the diner) to meet Ben and his friend Rob for dinner at a Chinese restaurant a few blocks from their apartment.  We were enjoying a nice dinner of selections d’buffet and Pad Thai (yes, I know that isn’t Chinese), when a very creepy, junkie-esque guy at the next table whipped out his Nextel phone in full-volume-walkie-talkie mode and started in with a loud and animated conversation in Spanish with parties unknown, punctuated by that horrid “CHIRP.” These devices have no place outside of a construction site to begin with, and to fire one up in an otherwise quiet restaurant is another example of civilization’s end. The three of us sat there and rolled our eyes in disgust as the conversation rolled on.  Rob (who is a native Spanish speaker) reported that the conversation consisted primarily of trashy street-level talk and that it sounded to him the same way that the hillbillies in Deliverance would to us.  This conversation was annoying to everyone in the room, so I did what any of us would do at a time like this – nothing.

After a few more minutes of this, a man from a table not far away got up, walked up to Senior Nextel, and informed him in no uncertain terms that his conversation was disturbing to everyone in the restaurant and that he was being “very rude.” This was not some tough-looking guy spoiling for a fight, it was a middle-aged man who had had enough and made that clear. As the man walked back to his seat, the phone guy uttered a half-hearted and sotto-voce “Hey, you come back here” for the benefit of the woman he was with, even though the last thing this little wuss wanted was to deal with that man again. He was twice his size and probably scared the crap out of him. In fact, the creep ended up complaining to the staff that someone had “bothered him” and that this was all because he was speaking in Spanish.  Rather than just toss him as they should have, they moved him to another part of the restaurant from which we could hear his phone beeping minutes later.  Through it all, the staff seemed nonplussed although it was THEIR responsibility to head this off.  The man’s behavior was inexcusable and they owed it to the other diners to do something about it.  Yet they were so timid that it fell upon a civilian to do what so many of us wished we had the balls to do. 

Whoever you are, Mr. “I’ve-had-enough-of-this-shit”, you certainly have my respect and admiration.